The Sports Truth

Yes, we know. We got up on our high horse last week and decried the crying over Barbaro. Well, in the late Kentucky Derby winner’s defense, he was a pretty good guy. Er, horse.

He may not have been gallant or brave, or worthy of being treated as if he were a relative. Bu there are many good reasons to mourn him, Jeff Neuman of the New York Times writes. For instance…

Barbaro never talked about himself in the third person.

He didn’t trash-talk, taunt or hang on the rim. Down the stretch of the Kentucky Derby, he didn’t turn and point at Bluegrass Cat, and he didn’t somersault over the finish line. After crossing the line, he didn’t pull out a Sharpie and autograph his saddle for his business manager.

He never referred to his handlers as “my supporting cast.”

He never tried to renegotiate his contract. He never turned down an eight-figure offer by saying, “I’ve got to feed my family, man.”

His only tattoo was discreetly hidden.

He did no commercials for cellphone plans, credit cards, fast food chains or time shares.

He never had his agent issue a statement in which he apologized “if anybody took my actions the wrong way.”

He never appeared before a Congressional committee and lied about his steroids use.

He never dated Paris Hilton.

He was never involved in an altercation with a belligerent fan outside a club at 4 in the morning (cough, Stephen Jackson). He was never arrested for drunken driving. He did not own an unregistered handgun.

He never claimed he’d been disrespected. He never left his competitors in the dust and then said, ”I didn’t have my A game.” He did not attribute his victories to the glory of his personal Savior.

Isiah Thomas never tried to trade for him.

He was never a presenter at the ESPYs.

He never claimed, like Terrell Owens, that he was misquoted in his autobiography.

He never confessed to a double murder in the subjunctive tense.

He trained, ate and slept. He ran his races, gave his best effort, accepted plaudits graciously, went back to his stall and prepared to do it again the next time out.

Last but not least, he never fathered multiple offspring out of wedlock. Alas. 

A series of ailments - laminitis in the left rear hoof, an abscess in the right rear hoof, as well as new laminitis in both front feet - proved too much for the gallant Barbaro, who was euthanized this week eight months after his tragic Preakness breakdown.

According to the Associated Press, “the 2006 Kentucky Derby winner’s fight for survival was their fight, a symbol of strength, courage and comfort — and, more than anything else, a source of inspiration.”

Excuse us while we saddle up on our high horse for a moment.

Where was the outpouring of support for Mummify last year? Or Charismatic in 1999? Or any of the 240 fatalities on California horse tracks from 2003 to 2005? No one seemed to notice these deaths in the brutal sport of horse racing, because they didn’t involve a Triple Crown attempt.

This sport, if you choose to call it that, exists solely as a hobby for the ultra rich. It’s not humane and it never was. Go ahead and slurp down mint juleps and gamble until your heart’s content. God knows we love sports betting here at the Truth.

But cut the crap. Don’t act as if you care about Barbaro or any other horse’s well being unless you actually do. And you know you don’t.

The outpouring of support Barbaro received in his “brave fight” - how the media knows he was brave or even aware of what was happening when he was killed by a veterinarian is beyond me - would only make sense if a person were against horse racing altogether and felt genuine empathy for all injured animals.

This is a 1,000-pound animal being ridden by a jockey, whipped ferociously and being forced to run over 30 miles per hour. Equine experts claim that top thoroughbreds were born to run, which is probably the biggest crock of $h!t since Barry Bonds claimed he thought “The Cream” was flaxseed oil.

No animal was born to this fate. Colts love to gallop, sure. Freely. If you wish to appreciate horses, how about you go observe them in their natural environment? Head over to the farm. Feed them hay. Go for a light cantor through the fields if that makes you happy.

Or not. I’m no animal rights activist - If millionaires wish to breed the animals and show or race them for others to wager on, terrific. But don’t pretend this is anything else.

It’s just a really fast horse. Had he placed fifth, you’d never know who Barbaro was. There would have been no stories of him being put to sleep after “battling gallantly” to live. He’d have been destroyed, like thousands of others before him, with little fanfare. And had his owners not hoped to keep him alive in hopes he’d bring in millions from breeding, it probably would have happened within 24 hours.

The sincerity of the innocent, naive and loving children above is undeniable. They see Barbaro as a friend, like Mr. Ed or Black Beauty. But adults either see riches, or a means of pretending they care about a good cause.

Shame on those who pretend to care about the animals on display, those who treat them as anything more than the money makers they are, and those who hadn’t heard of Barbaro until he won the Kentucky Derby and now act as if one of their own relatives died.

No pulsating intro music or pyrotechnics are necessary when the Sports Truth’s Starting Five takes the floor. Primarily because our budget won’t allot for such things. That would be so cool, though!

Every Friday, our panel of experts takes a current sports topic and sounds off on it — five times over. These guys have been researching constantly, poring over endless data and bouncing ideas off each other in preparation for this feature. Prepare to be amused, perplexed, enraged and maybe a little awed by their collective brilliance.

This Week’s Topic: SPORT / NOT A SPORT

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1. Golf: Sport? Not a sport? Why?

LUCAS DWYER: Not only is golf a sport, it is the hardest sport there is. The physical act of striking a golf ball and making contact might not be all that difficult, but the act of striking a golf ball, hitting it far and accurately, and doing so consistently over the course of 18 holes is far more difficult than hitting a 97 mph fastball or tackling Larry Johnson.

JOEY BARGUY: Not a sport. It’s a sport for Tiger Woods. Not for you.

EVAN CHRISTOPHER: My definition of a sport is simple: physical activity, competition and a clear winner and loser. So golf easily qualifies as a sport. Some say hitting a baseball is the hardest thing to do, but I nominate hitting a 100-yard sand wedge from the rough with a bad lie onto a sloping green. Golf requires talent, concentration, no bad teammates to bring you down or blame, and incredibly bad fashion sense. I love it.

MICHAEL BRIAN: Golf: Not a sport. Golf is what you do when your body is too old, broken down, or man-boobed to play actual sports.

MICHAEL STEPHENS: A tough call, but I have to go with sport. It’s somehow easier to justify wasting most of my youth playing it if I call it one.

STEVEN VINCI: Golf is certainly a sport. A game is something everyone can do, but golf is one of the most challenging activities on the planet, and one mastered by only a few. Just because Phil Mickelson needs a bra does not mean golf is not a sport.

VERDICT: SPORT, 4-2

2. Ultimate frisbee: Sport? Not a sport? Why?

STEVEN VINCI: I’ll go with sport on this one. Even though it’s played by hippies and there is not enough physical contact, there is some skill involved. It would be a better game if there was tackling involved.

LUCAS DWYER: The only thing missing from ultimate frisbee for this to even be a question is attention. There are very few organized ultimate frisbee endeavors, so we never hear about it, but it requires athleticism, speed, endurance, coordination, and strategy — all the things you’d want in a sport.

MICHAEL BRIAN: Not a sport. Ultimate frisbee will become a sport when shirt tye-dyeing, hair unkempting and pot smoking are considered work outs.

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