The Sports Truth

That about sums up the fantasy team of this supposed expert, which will be 2-4 as of tomorrow barring a miracle from Javon Walker. Despite what many considered to be the best fantasy football draft of my 14-team league, I’m on the outside looking in when it comes to the playoffs.

With seven regular season games to go, and probably needing to go 8-5 to finish in the top six and gain a postseason berth, I had to shake this underachieving fantasy football roster up. After pathetic output at wide receiver and three losses by a combined eight points, I decided it was time to drop Deuce.

Then I decided I had to move Deuce McAllister of the New Orleans Saints, a.k.a. Team Katrina, because having four good running backs is not going to do a lot for you when you can only use two of them per week (my league has no hybrid spot).

As my first round pick and the #1 overall selection, Larry Johnson, and the Vikings’ Chester Taylor appear entrenched as my 1-2 punch, I opted to keep Laurence Muroney as my third back and add a quality receiver to supplement Larry Fitzgerald (whose hamstring is a major concern) and Javon.

It was a long dealmaking process, but one that ended well — and leaves me somewhat confident in my playoff chances despite having little to no margin for error the rest of the way. In classic early-stage negotiating fashion, I threw out ridiculous proposals designed to land Steve Smith, Chad Johnson or Marvin Harrison. No dice.

Then, having made it known that I was looking to move Deuce (who, it must be said, would have won me two games this year had I played him over the aforementioned Mr. Taylor), I received the requisite low-ball offers. No way was I going to trade for Antwaan Randle-El or Amani Toomer, but at the very least, I’d gotten some interest.

I was actually pondering another deal when the trade I’d been seeking all along came through. The John Mark Karr All-Stars (classy name) had offered Isaac Bruce in exchange for Chester Taylor. I knew I’d be getting the worst of that agreement, but was desperate enough for WR help to consider it. But then Mailbox Head came through.

I love Mailbox Head. Not just because I’ve been friends with that team’s owner for over 15 years, and not because he’s got the best (albeit the weirdest) team name in our league. But because when he senses a good deal for both parties, he doesn’t get cute. He pulls the trigger. We both needed to hammer out a deal, so rather than trying to bilk each other, we put our heads together and didn’t rest until we found common ground.

With by far the greatest receiving depth in the league, and a strong need for a dependable rusher, Mailbox Head (also 2-3 entering today) wanted to trade me Reggie Wayne (left, not to be confused with Dwayne Wayne) for Mr. McAllister over two weeks ago — but was hesitant, in large part due to the status of his other star WR, Terrell Owens, after the whole suicide attempt / drug overdose thing. Understandable.

But with T.O. looking normal (as normal as T.O. can look, anyway) he quickly accepted Deuce in exchange for Wayne when offered by yours truly a second time. The agreement was finalized not a moment too soon for two squads fading quickly into the land of the irrelevant.

With Wayne and a hopefully-healthy Fitzgerald in the lineup a week from now, the K-Federation, Yo, should be ready to embark on an epic win streak. I can’t help but wonder, however, if naming a team after a proven loser like Kevin Federline might be contributing to its struggles.