A List of Good Reasons to Mourn Barbaro
February 7th, 2007 by Michael StephensYes, we know. We got up on our high horse last week and decried the crying over Barbaro. Well, in the late Kentucky Derby winner’s defense, he was a pretty good guy. Er, horse.
He may not have been gallant or brave, or worthy of being treated as if he were a relative. Bu there are many good reasons to mourn him, Jeff Neuman of the New York Times writes. For instance…
Barbaro never talked about himself in the third person.
He didn’t trash-talk, taunt or hang on the rim. Down the stretch of the Kentucky Derby, he didn’t turn and point at Bluegrass Cat, and he didn’t somersault over the finish line. After crossing the line, he didn’t pull out a Sharpie and autograph his saddle for his business manager.
He never referred to his handlers as “my supporting cast.”
He never tried to renegotiate his contract. He never turned down an eight-figure offer by saying, “I’ve got to feed my family, man.”
His only tattoo was discreetly hidden.
He did no commercials for cellphone plans, credit cards, fast food chains or time shares.
He never had his agent issue a statement in which he apologized “if anybody took my actions the wrong way.”
He never appeared before a Congressional committee and lied about his steroids use.
He never dated Paris Hilton.
He was never involved in an altercation with a belligerent fan outside a club at 4 in the morning (cough, Stephen Jackson). He was never arrested for drunken driving. He did not own an unregistered handgun.
He never claimed he’d been disrespected. He never left his competitors in the dust and then said, ”I didn’t have my A game.” He did not attribute his victories to the glory of his personal Savior.
Isiah Thomas never tried to trade for him.
He was never a presenter at the ESPYs.
He never claimed, like Terrell Owens, that he was misquoted in his autobiography.
He never confessed to a double murder in the subjunctive tense.
He trained, ate and slept. He ran his races, gave his best effort, accepted plaudits graciously, went back to his stall and prepared to do it again the next time out.
Last but not least, he never fathered multiple offspring out of wedlock. Alas.
