Tony Romo, Jessica Simpson & John Mayer: A Love Triangle
November 21st, 2006 by Michael Stephens
Depending on what you read, that’s what we’re looking at, making for possibly the funniest clash of sports and popular culture in some time. In any event, it’s been quite a run for Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. Since taking over for Drew Bledsoe in Week 7, he’s 3-1 as a starter and has been a major spark behind Dallas’ resurgence.
Count the Sports Truth among those who questioned Bill Parcells’ decision to start Romo over Drew Bledsoe. Actually, we were pretty apathetic, but Romo presented an easy target and we took it. Now he’s proving us wrong and then some, accumulating a 100.0 QB rating, completing 68 percent of his passes and throwing eight TDs.
On Sunday, Romo helped lead Dallas to a 21-14 upset of the Colts (as accurately predicted by this writer). But that wasn’t even the highlight of his week, according to ESPN’s Page 2. Romo, who told Fox that he’d love to go out with Jessica Simpson, apparently got his wish and went on a date with the sexy star.
Sports Illustrated’s The Beat confirms that Simpson’s “people” were at least talking with Romo about setting something up, and Terrell Owens, when asked on his radio show about the possibility of his quarterback dating Simpson, joked, “Maybe we can double date and I can go out with Ashlee.”
Of course, even if that is true, Tony isn’t the only person who can claim it.
Numerous sources are reporting Jessica Simpson and John Mayer, the annoying singer now begging for credibility as a real musician, are dating again after a series of encounters earlier this fall. The couple recently met for an hour-long lunch at Paradise Cove Beach Café in Malibu, Calif.
“She didn’t eat much,” a witness said. “She drank double vodka cranberries. When they got up, Jessica was rubbing his back. You could definitely tell they were on a date.”
Perhaps in an attempt to show up Romo, who is still on the low end of the NFL salary scale, Mayer proceeded to leave a $40 tip on the $100 bill. What a big shot!
Who knows if Tony Romo is really dating Jessica Simpson or if this is all conjecture. But we do know one thing for sure, and that is John Mayer needs to go away. He’s the Duke basketball of pop music, an entity so dislikable as to make one cringe, even if one can’t list a good reason why this happens. Except that “Wonderland” song. No self-respecting man records that crap, even if they are doing Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Here’s hoping Tony Romo (or someone) can swoop in and keep Jessica from this no-talent assclown.
November 22nd, 2006 at 11:40 pm
Dear Michael Stephens:
Thank you so much for enlightening us with your profound pontification. A few points you may have overlooked:
1) Jessica Simpson is not attractive, not real, not intelligent, and has a sister that looks like a troll.
2) An undrafted QB who enters a situation with TO, Terry Glenn, Jason Witten, Julius Jones, Marion Barber, and the Cowboys’ O-Line and finds success shouldn’t be heralded as a hero by anyone with a true sense of logic.
3) Combine the above with a grown man who has a “celebrity crush” and I think you may have found a true “no-talent assclown”.
3) It’s hard to admit, but Mayer actually does possess a fair amount of songwriting, guitar playing, and comedic talent. I know it’s rough, but a bit of research helps support a statement.
4) If you had the ability in your life to do just a single thing that was even mistakably close to recording a song like “Your Body is a Wonderland”, you might not have to spend your time writing about other peoples’ lives and would figure out that anyone with a goatee and a ponytail in 2006 is not a self-respecting man. Moreover, he’s most likely a nerd douchebag who actually uses the term “blog” when describing himself.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:53 am
(previous poster, you had 5 points, not 4…and bravo!)
All I want to do is address the comment: “John Mayer, the annoying singer now begging for credibility as a real musician”.
John Mayer has to his credit:
1. THREE Grammy Awards: 2 - Best Male Pop Vocal Performance, 1 - Song of the Year(”Daughters”)
2. TWO platinum albums. (QUADRUPLE PLATINUM Room for Squares - 2001, MULTI-PLATINUM Heavier Things - 2003)
3. The Hal David Starlight Award. This award was established to honor gifted songwriters in the early years of their careers who are making a significant impact in the music industry via their original songs. (presented to him at the 37th Annual Songwriters Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony.)
4. Collaborated with: Eric Clapton, B.B. King, Buddy Guy, Herbie Hancock, John Scofield, Kanye West, the Dixie Chicks(sorry), Steve Jordan and Alicia Keys.
Now. If these credentials do not validate this “annoying singer” and his “CREDIBILITY AS A REAL MUSICIAN”..WHAT DOES?!!
Michael Stephens and his pitiful defense of Tony Romo and his make believe relationship with Jessica Simpson (US Magazine has confirmation from Jess she is dating Mr. Mayer) is just another ‘LOOK AT ME” Cowboyish attempt to draw attention to “America’s Team”, just like TO draws attention to himself. Here’s to the NEW YORK GIANTS for taking over FIRST PLACE IN THE NFC EAST for good and relegating the Cowgirls to possibly a Wild Card participant. Romo will collapse this Sunday while Jess and John watch the meltdown in a Malibu bar!
November 30th, 2006 at 11:35 am
Just admit it… yall are in love with John Mayer. This is obviously the case because you two so adamantly defend John Mayer and neglect the cold hard facts and stats.
1) you take your Janeane Garofalo and such and I’ll take my large breasted, slender and blonde bombshell
2) Drew Bledsoe (although not in his prime) will have a ballot spot for an upcoming Hall of Fame… He had the same weapons and he was unable to benefit from them. You still need talent and skills to get the ball to them…. Idiot!
3) Are you above having a celebrity crush? Do you dream at night of the girl at the quicky-mart or what?
4) Im not going to comment on Mayer anymore, after his stint on Eric Claptons Crossroads Tour…. I’ll leave him alone.
Steve Mike… I dont even know where to start with you, get up off your knees and put away your John Mayer poster with a hole in his mouth…
Im sure you realize that the media doctored the “make belive relationship” with Jessica Simpson…
Screw the Giants with their Soap Opera Locker Room, sub par QB and lame fan base. The cowboys are a game and a half ahead in the Division and the Giants are in a three game (about to be a four game) loosing streak.
November 30th, 2006 at 2:52 pm
Cowboys are on first place!!!!!!
Screw Mayer and jessica, Romo can do so much better.
December 3rd, 2006 at 8:05 pm
what i say!!!!
December 7th, 2006 at 4:03 pm
Cande, where do I start with YOU? I was simply defending John Mayer(or anybody else who was judged incorrectly for that matter!) in the article above. The “….John Mayer, the annoying singer now begging for credibility as a real musician,..” quote was incorrect and I stated facts that proved it. Period. Speaking of “periods”, you must have yours right now by saying things like “get up off your knees and put away your John Mayer poster with a hole in his mouth…”. How pitiful.
You sound so ugly, stupid and undesirable I wouldn’t go near any of your diseased holes, speaking of holes. And as far as the Giants go, how hard were your praying that field goal went between the posts last Sunday!? The Giants lost that game, the Cowgirls didn’t win it and you know it. Your Cowgirls have met their match with my NEW YORK GIANTS and if we don’t win the division outright, I cant WAIT to beat your team in Dallass when we come there as the Wild Card and beat you like a drum. Strahan will be back and Tony Homo will spend the game on his back just like you probably do 6 of 7 nights of the week with whoever wants to fork up two drinks at the local sports bar. GO GIANTS! ps. You have got to use your Drew Bledsoe and his Hall of Fame ballot comment in your standup act because only a comedian could say something so hilarious! You’re good! hahahahaha..
December 7th, 2006 at 4:15 pm
Hey Cande! Regarding your “screw the Giants” comment: If it wasn’t for Wellington Mara, the patriarch of the NEW YORK GIANTS and NFL for that matter, and his solo decision in the 60s to approve of revenue sharing for the NFL, your city wouldn’t even HAVE a team! How dare you. Know your history, you freaking idiot. Also, our “lame fan base” goes back to 1925. My team is one of the most traditioned and well respected sports teams in the history of organized sports steeped with a fan base deeper than almost every other team. You’re very welcome for your 2 time NY GIANTS Super Bowl winning coach, too. I wonder to this day what Jerry Jones paid him (on the side) to tolerate TO’s utter and complete nonsense.
January 9th, 2007 at 6:06 pm
Cande?! You leave me?! Nice hold on the field goal Tony No-mo! The only gratifying thing about my beloved BIG BLUE not making the playoffs is to know that the Dallass Cowgirls didn’t make it. In the most hearbreaking way possible. Ole smiley face Tony ain’t smiling no-mo, is he? Oh Cande, there are pictures everywhere showing Jessica Simpson with John Mayer, beeeeeeeotch!
February 5th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
Screw All You Who said something Bad about John!!!!! U SUCK except for Steve Mike
June 24th, 2007 at 2:25 pm
The NEW YORK GIANTS are a bunch of losers highlighted by a little boy QB who will never grow up and be anything close to his brother, a DE that has a pair of antlers growing out of his mouth, and now that Ronde’s brother is retired, all you have is a hothead named Jacobs to run the ball whose only skill is his size. Coughlin WILL lose his job this year. Have fun looking up in the standings at the Big Blue Star.
March 23rd, 2009 at 7:26 am
I really liked your blog with the Cowboys mention! A Super Bowl maybe this year?!?
March 25th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Jessica is so beautiful!!
March 25th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
i love jessica simpson