The Sports Truth

For the fourth consecutive week, Britney’s Divorce Lawyers (who are pondering another name change to Marry Me Britney) delivered a savage beating to an overmatched fantasy football opponent.

In pulling our record up to 6-4 and snagging third place by virtue of an enormous lead in the overall points tie-breaker, Philip Rivers (right) led a thorough team effort with his best game to date.

Despite being 4-0 as a starter for us, Rivers hadn’t really showcased his potential until last Sunday, when he passed for 338 yards and three scores against the Bengals. Luckily for the Divorce Lawyers, our opponent’s T.J. Houshmandzadeh stayed out of the end zone for Cincinnati in that 49-41 shootout.

Inspired by Rivers’ effort at the helm, the supporting cast did what it had to do to bury the B-Town Billygoats early.

Even when they weren’t at their best, Larry Johnson, Reggie Wayne, Mark Clayton, Tony Gonzalez and Javon Walker all reached double figures in points, and the 125-85 rout was on. Now it’s time for a grudge match with a fellow 6-4 squad with sneaky-good players like Rex Grossman and Steven Jackson.

Proving what a fickle beast fantasy football can be, Rivers is getting the hook one week after turning in his best game yet. We’re hoping that Drew Brees can victimize that same Bengals defense Sunday, and continue what has been a very strong year for him, despite his 2-4 starting record for us. Jermaine Wiggins was added to the roster this week to spot start for an injured Gonzalez, which is a big loss. However, Larry Fitzgerald’s return should more than make up for it. At least we’re hoping so.

At this point, I turn things over to my colleague, Lucas Dwyer, for an in-depth account of a bizarre turn of events that impacted his own fantasy football league greatly last week. His account follows the Sports Truth’s favorite marathoner, Jane Murray, in her effort to dethrone the league’s top team — only to be thwarted, stunningly, by a mid-week scoring change made by the NFL.

As of Tuesday morning, Jane Murray’s team, aptly named the Kyle Killers, had defeated Kyle Kalember’s team for the second time this year, 77-69. The win for Murray left her tied atop of her division with Alex Woodcock at 7-3, and ahead of Kalember’s 7-3 team by virtue of a 2-0 head-to-head record. Additionally, Murray was tied with Woodcock and Toby Ralston for the #1 overall seed.

Everything changed Wednesday night when Jane, Sports Truth Founder Levi Matthews and I were watching SportsCenter and Brian Kenny told us about the scoring change.

Reggie Brown, Jane’s player, was no longer going to be charged with a fumble which was “recovered” by Correll Buckhalter and run into the end zone for a 55-yard touchdown. Instead, the play was going to be rulled a completed pass to Buckhalter by Donovan McNabb - Kyle’s player.

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Last week, rumors regarding who won exclusive rights to negotiate a contract with Daisuke Matsuzaka (right) and his agent, Scott Boras, began to swirl and the Boston Red Sox were the unlikely (at least to this writer) team predicted to be the winner.

Rumors of bids in excess of $40 million floated around, mostly to the stunned eyes of sports fans (again, including this columnist).

“$40 million for the rights simply to negotiate with a pitcher estimated to be on par with Roy Oswalt?!” gushed the talking heads of Around the Horn, Pardon the Interruption, and other sports talk shows.

It seemed preposterous, but little did they know.

At 8 p.m. Tuesday, Major League Baseball and the Seibu Lions reported that the Boston Red Sox had won the bidding for the Daisuke Matsuzaka’s rights. The surprising part was the total: $51.1 million dollars. This total is reportedly well ahead of the second place bid; $39 million by the New York Mets.

The aftershock of such a huge bid was astounding. Even Yankees fans were crying foul. A Red Sox fan and longtime friend of yours truly called to say that he couldn’t go on like this with the Red Sox anymore and was switching to the Phillies (conveniently located in Philadelphia, where he resides). Met fans started calling the Red Sox the “Evil Empire,” an ironic statement, as this marks the first time the Mets have been outbid for anyone since Omar Minaya took over.

What is most interesting about the $51.1 million dollar bid is not the staggering sum of money it represents, but the exact nature of the bid.

This was not some arbitrary bid thrown out there. This was a bid designed not to lose, and that could mean a multitude of things.

First, let’s examine the precise amount of the bid and its purpose. The most obvious fact is the size. $50 million dollars to negotiate with a player when the former high was $13.3 million (for Ichiro Suzuki) and most people expected a bid of $40 million to win. Bidding that much more than the anticipated high bid emphatically states the Red Sox earnest in hoping to sign Daisuke Matsuzaka.

Secondly, the Red Sox bid $51 million. Adding the extra million to the already-high $50 million bid ensures that if another team tries to high ball the offer at $50 million, the Red Sox have them beat. That explains the $0.1 million (or $100,000) portion of the bid as well. In case any other club was trying to be sneaky and slip in a bid of $51 million, the Sox it covered.

While a $50 million bid would most likely be the high offer, by making it $51.1 million, the Red Sox put together an offer that would not lose the bidding war.

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[Cue The Pundit’s Patented Loud Booming Voice & Pulsing Intro Music and Pyrotechnics]

It was a wild week, rabid Pundit fans! Ohio State and Michigan dominated and are now gearing up for what many are calling the unofficial national title game. Louisville succumbed to the pressure and got dumped by Rutgers. Texas lost Colt McCoy and allowed a surging Kansas State team to knock them out if the hunt (at least until someone else loses).

Finally, Auburn looked like total sh!t against once-bumbling Georgia, and the Gators snuck by sleeper South Carolina (watch this team next year). The new tally: 34-10 for the year. Calling the spread on Louisville, OSU, and Michigan. PUNDIT DOMINANCE AGAIN! Holla at your boy!

[Cue the Drum Roll]

THE PUNDIT’S POWER FIVE

1. Ohio State. Northwestern got beat up worse than the Pundit predicted. Holla, Troy Smith.
Next week’s opponent: Michigan
Prediction: This comes down to who makes the big play in the big moment. Since both teams have some serious play makers and have shown some serious ability to handle their business, the pundit is calling a shootout that goes to OT. Ted Ginn, Jr., and Alex Smith hook up for huge yardage in the game and is the difference. 38-35 for the Buckeyes.

2. Michigan. The Hoosiers died down the stretch as predicted. The Pundit should be getting some serious love by now. Holla!
Next week’s opponent: Ohio State
Prediction: See above. This is the game where we find out how good Mario Manningham really is. The Pundit is predicting a one-season wonder who flops in the NFL.

3. Florida. A great grudge match win against the Gamecocks. Was there a soap opera feel to this one or what?
Next week’s opponent: Western Carolina
Prediction: Florida should annihilate these guys. They are like 10 pounds of monkey sh!t in a five-pound bag. This is crucial game for the Gators to get healthy! Gators by 6 TDs.

4. USC. Okay, they ripped Oregon pretty good. The Pundit wants to see them versus Notre Dame and Cal before he passes final judgement.
Next Week’s Opponent: California
Prediction: The Bears had been on a tear until getting dumped last week by Arizona (ol’ Tedy Bruschi probably got the biggest boner of his life upon hearing this news). Both teams have explosive offensives and Cal was the last one to beat the Trojans before the Oregon State Beavers did it this season. The Pundit is taking USC at home by a touchdown. They will find some annoying way to win this game.

5. Arkansas. It took the Pundit awhile, but he will finally recognize the Razorbacks after thumping a hot Tennessee team: without the QB, Mustain, who had gotten them there too. The Pundit awards big sack points to Coach Houston Nutt on that one.
Next Week’s Opponent: Mississippi State
Prediction: They suck and Arkansas should roll them up good. Hogs by 35.

Teams Most Likely to Break Into the Top Five: The field is thinning out. Rutgers needs to dump WVU at home to move up there. The Pundit thinks Louisville was set up perfectly for the fall, so the Knights have to prove themselves against another heavyweight. Sneaky prediction - they wont get it done. Notre Dame’s wins over service academies are not helping them at all.

NOTE: Unfortunately for the rabid Pundit readership (which is probably the only thing keeping this lame, chimp-edited site alive), the Pundit can only drop half his usual knowledge this week due to time constraints. The Pundit didn’t want to miss the big week altogether, though. Holla!

It’s one thing to commit a pair of brutal, premeditated killings, mercilessly ending the lives of your ex-wife and her friend.

It’s another thing to deny it, buy your way out of it with a high-priced team of defense lawyers, and show absolutely no remorse.

And it’s another thing altogether to decide, 12 years later, that getting away with murder isn’t enough, and that you should really rub it in the faces of the victims and America as a whole while making money off it to boot.

We reported this before, back when it was first announced that O.J. Simpson is coming out with a book entitled If I Did It, in which he gives adoring fans a “hypothetical” account of how he “would have” slain Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Now he’s promoting it with TV interviews!

In order to hype this remarkable literary work, Fox Broadcasting, class acts that they are, announced yesterday that they have scheduled not one but two hourlong programs later this month in which O.J. will appear and talk about the book and all the speculative murder in it.

Mike Darnell, Executive V.P. of Alternative Programming for Fox, said in a statement that the network’s “O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened” interview is one that no one thought would ever happen.

That’s undoubtedly true for many reasons. Namely the fact that this is probably the most tasteless, degrading and unnecessary “news story” in history.

What’s O.J. Simpson going to say? That he hypothetically slit the throat of his children’s mother and left her drowning in a pool of blood? That, come to think of it, he should have poisoned her, to make it less messy? That Goldman was asking for it when he showed up unannounced and caught him in the act?

No idea, but one thing’s for sure: O.J. is headed straight to hell, and the people helping him make money (while profiting along with him) by agreeing to publish and air this garbage can’t be far behind.

Not only is Derek Jeter the American League’s most valuable player (or one of them, as Red Sox fans will invariably argue), but he’s a big time player with the ladies, too. What would you expect from someone who says and does all the right things — and the little things! Women love that!

While the egregious displays of man love towards Derek from Joe Buck and Tim McCarver are nauseating, we do have to hand it to the Yankee shortstop. Not because he’s a tremendous ballplayer, but because of some of the women he’s dated.

Back in the day, he and Mariah Carey were an item. That was before Mariah became an unstable, rampaging diva who had to be hospitalized for “exhaustion.” Then more recently, it was Vanessa Minnillo, the alluring MTV personality now linked to Nick Lachey.

But Lachey, the ex-husband of Jessica Simpson, can forget about his obvious inferiority complex, because Jeter has apparently moved on to another hottie: Jessica Biel.

The Yankees captain and The Illusionist star were spotted at the nightclub Hyde, quite possibly the only club in all of Southern California frequented by celebs. Wouldn’t you go elsewhere to get some privacy, people? At least sometimes, to mix it up a bit?

In any event, Derek and Jessica were seen “laughing and giggling together,” according to the New York Post, while others sources state Jeter actually massaged Biel’s shoulders.

Which sounds pretty hot, until you remember that he’s probably done the same to a slumping Alex Rodriguez in the past. Especially last season. So who knows if they’re anything more than friends.

Can anyone figure out the Eastern Conference right now? Miami? Detroit? Chicago? New Jersey? None of these teams really scare anyone right now. Meanwhile, even the bad teams in the West have good records right now. Plus, Dallas and Denver just got hot and the Jazz are for real.

I know it’s early, but can we start talking about the Greg Oden Sweepstakes? Tell me the Celtics would not be nasty with Oden playing with Gerald Green, Rajon Rondo, Sebastian Telfair, Kendrick Perkins, Al Jefferson, Ryan Gomes, Tony Allen and Delonte West. What about the Knicks, wouldn’t Oden make sense in MSG?

Sometimes playing for pride is foolish. On to the Sports Truth Power Rankings:

[Current ranking, followed by last week's ranking in parentheses, followed by team record]

1. (4) San Antonio (6-1). Tim Duncan’s squad gets edge thanks to defense.
2. (1) Utah (7-1). Guess what? Deron Williams (right) is a really good point guard.
3. (8) LA Clippers (5-2). 5-0 at home; blown out in 4th against Jazz.
4. (16) Cleveland (5-2). Two bad losses, but the King can’t be stopped in East.
5. (9) Houston (5-3). Lead league in defense; Tracy McGrady was even seen passing this week.
6. (17) Golden State (5-3). Won three straight; no problem scoring.
7. (20) Sacramento (4-2). Excellent defense; Kevin Martin can really shoot.
8. (30) Dallas (3-4). Three straight wins to right the ship.
9. (28) Denver (3-3). Three straight as well; ‘Melo torched the Heat.
10. (12) Orlando (5-3). Yes, they are that good. Nelson can’t miss.
11. (3) L.A. Lakers (5-3). Wait until Kobe’s healthy.
12. (2) New Orleans/Oklahoma City (5-3). Chris Paul (0-8 shooting) showed he’s human against Charlotte, but Peja drops 42 in win.
13. (7) Atlanta (4-3). They play defense and Joe Johnson does just enough scoring.
14. (5) Indiana (4-3). Al Harrington has provided a spark. Can they keep their heads straight?
15. (10) New Jersey (3-3). Two losses to Heat is not inspiring.
16. (24) Washington (3-3). The Wiz are probably scoring while you read this… now if they’d only play defense.
17. (22) Seattle (4-4). Another team that needs to play defense.
18. (21) Phoenix (2-5). Still treading water, but they need to play defense every now and then.
19. (19) Portland (4-4). Good News! Darius Miles (right) is out two months!
20. (14) Miami (3-4). Riley needs to open up the bench. These guys are old and slow right now.
21. (15) Detroit (3-4). I predicted they would struggle on defense (96.4 points allowed per game), but they can’t score either (93.7 points scored).
22. (11) Chicago (3-4). Looked good in the opener, downhill since then.
23. (6) Philadelphia (3-3). Started 3-0, then realized who they really are.
24. (13) Milwaukee (3-5). Should be better, but they just don’t play defense (104.3 points allowed per game).
25. (18) Minnesota (3-4). Lost four straight, KG rumors went up.
26. (23) Toronto (2-5). International players are mixing in right now.
27. (26) New York (2-6). Message to Isiah Thomas: Don’t forget where you came from. Thomas actually threatened Bruce Bowen for dirty defensive tactics? Rodman? Salley? Mahorn?
28. (29) Boston (1-6). What’s up, Doc? C’s hang close until the fourth quarter.
29. (27) Memphis (1-5). Pau Gasol might help, but they need to steal a few wins.
30. (25) Charlotte (1-6). Adam Morrison and Emeka Okafor look great, but they just can’t win games.

In dollars, it comes to $51.1 million.

In yen, it is about ¥6 billion.

Whatever currency you want to go by, that’s what it’s going to cost the Boston Red Sox to speak to — not necessarily sign — 26-year old Japanese righthander Daisuke Matsuzaka (right).

Making a record-setting bid that blew away offers from the rival New York Yankees, Mets and others, the Red Sox won the auction for the pitching ace who was named MVP of last winter’s World Baseball Classic.

Now the Sox have 30 days to sign Matsuzaka to a contract. If they don’t, they keep the money and the standout pitcher will have to stay with the Seibu Lions of the Pacific League.

“No one could believe the amount,” he told reporters Wednesday at Narita Airport before boarding a flight to the U.S. “I’m happy, but there will certainly be pressure. I’m not a Red Sox player yet, so I haven’t thought about it deeply, but if a contract is done I want to visit the stadium.”

The previous high bid for a player from Japan was $13.125 million by the Seattle Mariners for Ichiro Suzuki prior to the 2001 season.

“We have long admired Mr. Matsuzaka’s abilities and believe he would be a great fit with the Red Sox organization,” said Boston GM Theo Epstein.

Boston’s bid shows exactly how the market for pitching talent has soared (if Brandon Webb can win the Cy Young Award, there’s no telling), and also how far the Red Sox are apparently willing to go to stymie the Yankees. There are theories that Boston’s bid is merely a ploy to block others from getting Matsuzaka — although the pitcher’s agent, Scott Boras, does not seem worried.

“I’m going to first assume that this whole process was done in good faith,” the evil agent said.

Seriously, why does this guy have to be represented by Scott Boras? Doesn’t he taint enough American players? If the Red Sox are truly interested in signing him, estimates of what it will take range from $7-10 million annually over 3-4 years. Don’t be shocked to see Boras try to bilk a three-year, $45 million deal out of Boston, though. Yes, he’s just doing his job. Yes, it’s a business and yes, the financial side of baseball is fascinating. But he’s still the breathing embodiment of everything we don’t like about pro sports.

Regardless of Boras’ impact, can you imagine paying upwards of $90 million over 3-4 years for a guy who hasn’t thrown a pitch in the major leagues. People can talk about the inroads Boston will make in Japan all they like, but this is a staggering amount of money. Hopefully, the team will gain some leverage in the fact that Matsuzaka does not want to return to Japan, which he must if a deal isn’t struck.

Boston has until December 14 to sign Matsuzaka, who was 17-5 with a 2.13 earned run average and 200 strikeouts for the Lions this year. He throws around 95 mph, or 152 kilometers an hour, has good off-speed pitches and is known for his “gyroball,” which has been likened to a screwball.

But can he hold up in the U.S.? Can he help get Boston back to the World Series? Do the Sox even have intentions of inking him? We’ll have to wait and see.

It’s like the baseball version of a classic philosophical quandary: If a pitcher with a 47-45 career record that no one knows wins the Cy Young in the NL, does it actually count?

Apparently. Brandon Webb of the Arizona Diamondbacks won a wide-open race for the Cy Young Award in the B League (also known as the National League), beating out San Diego closer Trevor Hoffman on Tuesday.

Don’t guys like Randy Johnson and Roger Clemens win this award? Webb’s total of 16 wins is the lowest by a Cy Young winner in a non-strike season. He’s one of six pitchers who tied for the B League lead with that pedestrian total this year. Having gone 16-8 with a 3.10 ERA, Webb received 15 of 32 first-place votes and 103 points in the balloting.

Hoffman, who broke the career saves record last season, got 12 first-place votes and 77 points after recording 46 saves and registering a 2.14 ERA.

St. Louis Cardinals ace Chris Carpenter, last year’s winner, finished third with two first-place votes. Houston’s Roy Oswalt, who led the NL with a 2.98 ERA, got the other three first-place votes and came in fourth.

Wow. We know St. Louis won the World Series, and deservingly so. But it’s hard to take the NL seriously when Brandon Webb is the Cy Young winner. Is the field really so weak that Webb can win this thing? He pitches for last-place Arizona. Has anyone outside the NL West heard of him? Could you have picked him out of a police lineup before you saw this picture?

Hoffman finishing second is equally dubious. Turning in 46 saves in one season is very impressive, but would he be in the top five had he not broken the career saves record in 2006? Carpenter, Oswalt and Carlos Zambrano, who finished fifth, all had their ups and downs — but are any less deserving than a reliever? Sure, Eric Gagne won a few years ago, but he was unhittable.

To his credit, Hoffman at least played a key role in leading his team to the playoffs, which is more than you can say for Webb. Alright, this is stupid. Wake us when the A League awards are announced.

We’re halfway through the season, and to steal a technique from ESPN’s Bill Simmons, here’s what we know so far: The Colts are the best team in football, period.

Wins at Denver and at New England solidify any questions there and make them an easy #1 seed in the AFC. The Patriots and Ravens are winning their divisions. The winner of the Giants/Bears game this weekend will be the #1 seed in the NFC and both of those teams are winning their divisions.

Doesn’t seem like a lot to be set in stone, but with only half the season completed, we have almost half the playoff spots set already. In an era when Jacksonville can go a four-game stretch with three impressive wins by a combined score of 91-13 and lose to Houston in that other game, that is some unexpected dominance by five teams.

That is what we know through nine weeks. Now let’s look at what is likely. The Patriots will probably end up the #2 seed in the AFC. Besides the Chicago game in New England, their schedule is cake. Conversely, the Ravens are going to win their division but end up as the #4 seed thanks to a schedule that has them going to Cincinnati, Kansas City, and Pittsburgh in weeks 13, 14, and 16, respectively.

Team Katrina would have to collapse at this point to not make the playoffs, and with a win over Atlanta already in hand, New Orleans has the inside track to win its division.

With New Orleans our sixth playoff team, that leaves six playoff teams to determine and their seeding. At least two of the AFC West trio of Denver, San Diego and Kansas City are going to the playoffs - one will win the division, the other will pick up one of the wild cards.

By virtue of its play thus far, I’m going to give Denver the division and the #3 seed. That leaves San Diego and Kansas City for one spot, with the other battling Jacksonville for the last wild card. San Diego has the toughest remaining schedule - @ Cin, @ Den, vs. Oak, @ Buf (no one wants to play at Buffalo in December), vs. Den, vs. KC, @ Sea, vs. Ari - so I’m going to give the #5 seed to Kansas City.

Fortunately for the Chargers, however, the Jags have a tough schedule too (vs. NYG, vs. Indy, vs. NE, and @KC) and K.C. will still need that week 16 win to get into the playoffs, so the Chargers will back into the #6 spot by virtue of a week 16 loss for Jacksonville. Thus, our AFC looks like this:

1. Indianapolis
2. New England
3. Denver
4. Baltimore
5. Kansas City
6. San Diego

Moving over the NFC, I’m going to award the NFC South and the #3 seed to Team Katrina by virtue of a slightly easier schedule. I’m going to give three wins to Atlanta - vs. Cle, @Was, and @TB - and a 10-6 record good enough for the #5 seed. That leaves the NFC West and one more wild card.

A Seattle win this week would make it hard to lose the NFC West, but St. Louis is going to stun the home team and make it a tight race again. Even with the loss, Seattle has five fairly easy games remaining on their schedule (@ SF, vs. GB, @ Ari, vs. SF, @ TB) and should have ten wins.

St. Louis, similarly, has four easy wins (vs. SF, vs. Ari, @ Oak, vs. Was) and if they can win at Carolina in Week 11 or at Minnesota in Week 16, they will reach 10 wins as well. The Week 2 loss to San Francisco will come back to haunt St. Louis as they lose the NFC West by a slightly worse division record than Seattle. Minnesota should have 10 wins as well, but a Week 17 loss hands the #6 seed to St. Louis.

Here’s how the NFC shapes up:

1. Chicago
2. New York
3. New Orleans
4. Seattle
5. Atlanta
6. St. Louis

Now, on to this week’s picks…

[Home team in CAPS. Spreads accurate as of Friday, 5:30 EST]

LAST WEEK: 5-9 SEASON: 56-67-6 LUKE’S LOCKS™: 0-2

Kansas City (Pick’em) over MIAMI
I’m a little confused as to how a 5-3 team playing a 2-6 team is a pick’em, regardless of where it is play, but there’s no way Miami is winning two games in a row. They played out of their shoes last week; they’d have to do it again to win this week.

TENNESSEE (+7.0) over Baltimore
Just feels like it’s time for Baltimore to lose a game. They can’t be as good as their 6-2 record and they’re playing a feisty Titans team (despite last week’s abomination) in Nashville.

Houston (+10.5) over JACKSONVILLE
Jacksonville will win this game, but their record all-time vs. Houston is something like 7-6. Houston always plays them tough (as evidenced by their aforementioned win earlier this year) and 10.5 points is too many.

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No pulsating intro music or pyrotechnics are necessary when the Sports Truth’s Starting Five takes the floor. Primarily because our budget won’t allot for such things. That would be so cool, though!

Every Friday, our panel of experts takes a current sports topic and sounds off on it — five times over. These guys have been researching constantly, poring over endless data and bouncing ideas off each other in preparation for this feature. Prepare to be amused, perplexed, enraged and maybe a little awed by their collective brilliance.

This Week’s Topic: NFL MIDSEASON REPORT

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1. When are the Colts going to lose?

STEVEN VINCI: December 10th at Jacksonville. The Jags’ defense did an excellent job last season against the Colts and Jack Del Rio won’t be stupid like Bill Belichick. The Jags will run the ball down the Colts’ throats and find a way to pull out the win.

LUCAS DWYER: At Jacksonville in Week 14. If the Jags can’t beat the Colts at home, the Colts won’t lose this year, 16-0.

EVAN CHRISTOPHER: At Jacksonville, Week 14. Boy, that David Garrard (right) sure knows how to manage a game! I predict 17-13.

THE PUNDIT: Week 14 at Jacksonville. A road game against a defense that can be nasty on any given Sunday.

MICHAEL BRIAN: When they are outscored by their opponent.

MICHAEL STEPHENS: They’re losing at Dallas a week from Sunday. The Cowboys’ roller coaster season entails them being embarrassed by Matt Leinart and Arizona this week and roaring back to throttle Indy on November 19. Or at least it would be amusing.

2. More likely to happen between now and the end of the year: Art Shell getting fired, Terrell Owens being de-activated, or another prominent player failing a test for steroids?

MICHAEL BRIAN: Art Shell gets fired. Goes back to his regular job as an Art Shell statue.

LUCAS DWYER: It’s all about tying it in and I’m still convinced that Shawn Alexander is going to test positive for steroids. Art Shell’s shocking two wins have probably spared him from being fired mid-season, and putting Tony Romo in for Drew Bledsoe was the best T.O.-quieting thing anyone has done in five years.

THE PUNDIT: Another player getting nailed for steroids. Art Shell and the Raiders will perform better in the second half. T.O. will not get de-activated.

EVAN CHRISTOPHER: I’d rather see the whole offense unit of the Raiders be released, but Art Shell will probably get the axe even though it’s not his fault. Andrew Walter is offically the new Drew Bledsoe.

MICHAEL STEPHENS: Shell will probably last until the end of the year at least, since Al Davis felt so badly about axing him the previous time. Steroid tests are hard to handicap. So we’ll go with Terrell Owens. Sure, everything’s good now. But what about after a few Cowboys losses and Drew Bledsoe replacing an injured Tony Romo? Could get ugly.

STEVEN VINCI: Has to be Art Shell’s firing. I actually think he has already been fired, but the NFL is making Jesse Jackson watch films of all the Raider games so Jackson won’t file a lawsuit against the NFL for firing a minority coach.

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