The Weigh-In: Stephen Jackson vs. Steven Jackson
October 13th, 2006 by Michael StephensThe Sports Truth is proud to bring you The Weigh-In, in which we break down prospective matchups within the world of sports (and sometimes pop culture) that you may never have considered. Because they are pointless, and above all, not real.
Our latest edition is a showdown of sports stars with the same name, only spelled differently. It’s the Indiana Pacers’ fan-brawlin’, strip club shootin’ swingman, Stephen Jackson, against explosive St. Louis Rams running back Steven Jackson. Who will emerge triumphant? Ding, ding!
1. MIDDLE NAME
Stephen Jackson: Jesse
Steven Jackson: Rashad
Edge: Stephen
2. NICKNAME
Stephen Jackson: Steve Jack
Steven Jackson: Action
Edge: Steven
3. SIGNATURE LOOK
Stephen Jackson: Headbands, armbands, wristbands, busted grill
Steven Jackson: Dreadlocks flowing out from under helmet
Edge: Steven
4. FANTASY FACTOR
Stephen Jackson: Pretty effective when he’s not suspended, accounting for a minimum of 16.4 points, 3.9 rebounds, 2.3 assists and 1.3 steals a game for three years running
Steven Jackson: With 2,184 yards and 13 TDs in 34 career games, and having emerged from Marshall Faulk’s shadow, he’s a stud in training
Edge: Steven
5. THE PROMISED LAND
Stephen Jackson: Helped the Spurs win their second NBA Championship in 2003 by averaging about 13 points per game in the playoffs
Steven Jackson: Rams are 1-1 in his two playoff games
Edge: Stephen
6. BEAVER CONNECTION
Stephen Jackson: Loves him some strip clubs
Steven Jackson: Played for Oregon State
Edge: Steven
7. THUG LIFE CREDENTIALS
Stephen Jackson: Received 30-game suspension as one of the major participants in the infamous Pistons-Pacers brawl; Charged with felony criminal recklessness and some other misdemeanors stemming from a strip club fight / shooting last week (violating terms of his probation in the process, no less)
Steven Jackson: Pretty straight-laced for a guy who grew up in Vegas
Edge: Stephen
8. GOOGLE SEARCH RESULTS
Stephen Jackson: 31,200,000
Steven Jackson: 23,600,000
Edge: Stephen
9. OTHER NOTABLE NAMESAKES FOUND DURING AFOREMENTIONED GOOGLE SEARCH
Stephen Jackson: Stephen Jackson, Quaternary Plant Ecology & Biogeography Professor at the University of Wyoming
Steven Jackson: Steven Jackson, an Alabama singer/songwriter and bassist, who is also a former collaborator and bandmate of the reigning American Idol victor, Taylor Hicks
Edge: Steven
10. PACKS….
Stephen Jackson: Heat
Steven Jackson: Quite a punch, at 6′2″, 231 pounds
Edge: Steven
THE VERDICT: For a time, it was looking even Steven (or Stephen) — but in the end, the younger, more agile and less-troubled Jackson takes it by a 6-4 margin. Stephen Jackson may grab more rebounds, headlines, and search engine traffic, but Steven Jackson owns him in this official Sports Truth throw-down. Not if I could only get him on my fantasy football team…
