Starting Five: Sport / Not a Sport
October 27th, 2006 by The Sports Truth StaffNo pulsating intro music or pyrotechnics are necessary when the Sports Truth’s Starting Five takes the floor. Primarily because our budget won’t allot for such things. That would be so cool, though!
Every Friday, our panel of experts takes a current sports topic and sounds off on it — five times over. These guys have been researching constantly, poring over endless data and bouncing ideas off each other in preparation for this feature. Prepare to be amused, perplexed, enraged and maybe a little awed by their collective brilliance.
This Week’s Topic: SPORT / NOT A SPORT
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1. Golf: Sport? Not a sport? Why?
LUCAS DWYER: Not only is golf a sport, it is the hardest sport there is. The physical act of striking a golf ball and making contact might not be all that difficult, but the act of striking a golf ball, hitting it far and accurately, and doing so consistently over the course of 18 holes is far more difficult than hitting a 97 mph fastball or tackling Larry Johnson.
JOEY BARGUY: Not a sport. It’s a sport for Tiger Woods. Not for you.
EVAN CHRISTOPHER: My definition of a sport is simple: physical activity, competition and a clear winner and loser. So golf easily qualifies as a sport. Some say hitting a baseball is the hardest thing to do, but I nominate hitting a 100-yard sand wedge from the rough with a bad lie onto a sloping green. Golf requires talent, concentration, no bad teammates to bring you down or blame, and incredibly bad fashion sense. I love it.
MICHAEL BRIAN: Golf: Not a sport. Golf is what you do when your body is too old, broken down, or man-boobed to play actual sports.
MICHAEL STEPHENS: A tough call, but I have to go with sport. It’s somehow easier to justify wasting most of my youth playing it if I call it one.
STEVEN VINCI: Golf is certainly a sport. A game is something everyone can do, but golf is one of the most challenging activities on the planet, and one mastered by only a few. Just because Phil Mickelson needs a bra does not mean golf is not a sport.
VERDICT: SPORT, 4-2
2. Ultimate frisbee: Sport? Not a sport? Why?
STEVEN VINCI: I’ll go with sport on this one. Even though it’s played by hippies and there is not enough physical contact, there is some skill involved. It would be a better game if there was tackling involved.
LUCAS DWYER: The only thing missing from ultimate frisbee for this to even be a question is attention. There are very few organized ultimate frisbee endeavors, so we never hear about it, but it requires athleticism, speed, endurance, coordination, and strategy — all the things you’d want in a sport.
MICHAEL BRIAN: Not a sport. Ultimate frisbee will become a sport when shirt tye-dyeing, hair unkempting and pot smoking are considered work outs.
EVAN CHRISTOPHER: Oddly, under my qualifications, ultimate frisbee is a sport, even if the people who play it and take it seriously are queer.
JOEY BARGUY: Sport. Unless you’re doing it because you’re trying to fit in with the other hippies.
MICHAEL STEPHENS: It’s a sport, if only because as sports editor, I printed articles about it in our college newspaper. Of course, part of the reasoning behind doing so was to make the hippies leave me alone.
VERDICT: SPORT, 5-1
3. Horse racing: Sport? Not a sport? Why?
MICHAEL BRIAN: Not a sport. The horse does all the work. However, I’m close to consider this a sport just so I can favorably compare the size of my genitalia to those “professional athlete” jockeys.
STEVEN VINCI: Not a sport. If the main player in the activity cannot give an interview after the activity, then it can’t be a sport.
MICHAEL STEPHENS: Not only is horse racing a sport, it’s the sport of kings. That should really count double.
JOEY BARGUY: Sport. When a golfer can beat up a horse, I’ll swap my answers for #1 and #3.
EVAN CHRISTOPHER: Not a sport. Riding bareback, hanging on for your life while whipping a speeding beast? Sounds more like a recreational hobby to dabble in than a real sport.
LUCAS DWYER: Based on the aforementioned qualifications — athleticism, endurance, speed, coordination, and strategy — horse racing is a sport… for the horse. It’s difficult to imagine that horses would do something so inane of their own accord, so it can’t be called a sport. It’s more like a forced activity.
VERDICT: NOT A SPORT, 4-2
4. Poker: Sport? Not a sport? Why?
JOEY BARGUY: Not a sport. If you can be world class at this “sport” when you’re alone in your room with a computer, it’s not a sport.
EVAN CHRISTOPHER: Nope. Sure it’s fun when you’re drunk and hanging out with the fellas, but to consider it a sport, let alone a career or a primetime television event, is preposterous.
LUCAS DWYER: Poker, just like every other card-based endeavor, is a game, not a sport. There’s strategy, a lot of it, and that’s about it. Greg Raymer might have sweat at the 2005 WSOP, but that’s because he’s fat, not because he was exhibiting endurance.
MICHAEL BRIAN: Not a sport. It is, however, a vital cog to the “Liquor in the front, poker in the back” joke.
STEVEN VINCI: Poker is a game for many reasons, but not a sport. The WPT has pretty much eliminated the possibility of cheating. If you can’t find a way to cheat, it can’t be a sport.
MICHAEL STEPHENS: As I’ve argued before on this site, poker is definitely a sport. If unheralded Chris Moneymaker knocking out Johnny Chan on his way to the 2003 World Series of Poker title doesn’t represent all that is right with the sports world, I don’t know what does.
VERDICT: NOT A SPORT, 5-1
5. Pool: Sport? Not a sport? Why?
EVAN CHRISTOPHER: Pool is a leisure game, not a sport. Other leisure sports I am fond of: ping pong, darts, bacci and air hockey. An open challenge is issued to all takers.
MICHAEL BRIAN: Not a sport. And not just because I can’t do it. I mean, math is still a sport and I can’t do that.
STEVEN VINCI: Pool is certainly not a sport. There is absolutely no reason to perform any type of calistenics before playing the game of pool. If you aren’t going to stretch beforehand, it can’t be a sport.
MICHAEL STEPHENS: Watch Women’s Nine Ball on ESPN2 some night and tell me pool’s not a sport. Then go take a cold shower.
LUCAS DWYER: While seemingly similar to poker in the sense that it’s a game played primarily in casinos, if golf’s a sport, pool would have to be too, right? It’s hard to argue that walking 7,000 yards over the course of five hours makes golf a sport and pool not, so we’ll “chalk” pool up in the sport category.
JOEY BARGUY: Sport. I like pool.
VERDICT: TIE, 3-3
