Starting Five: NBA Preseason Report

October 6th, 2006 by The Sports Truth Staff

No pulsating intro music or pyrotechnics are necessary when the Sports Truth’s Starting Five takes the floor. Primarily because our budget won’t allot for such things. That would be so cool, though!

Every Friday, our panel of experts takes a current sports topic and sounds off on it — five times over. These guys have been researching constantly, poring over endless data and bouncing ideas off each other in preparation for this feature. Prepare to be amused, perplexed, enraged and maybe a little awed by their collective brilliance.

This Week’s Topic: NBA PRESEASON REPORT

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1. Which offseason transaction will have the greatest impact?

Charlie VillanuevaEVAN CHRISTOPHER: Obvious Answer: Ben Wallace to the Bulls. Right Answer: Charlie Villanueva (right) being traded to the Bucks. Watch out for Milwaukee to be the Bulls of two years ago — young, talented and hungry.

MICHAEL BRIAN: The Pacers re-acquiring Al Harrington is the first step in a multi-step program that has my favorite teams getting back people they never should have let go. Next up, Liriano returns to the Giants, followed by George Michael returning to team hetero. That guy could pull tons.

LEVI MATTHEWS: Isiah Thomas being named coach of the Knicks. Collective suicide by eight million New Yorkers is pretty significant impact, no?

LUCAS DWYER:
It was just a re-signing and happened so long ago, most of us forget it, but LeBron staying with the Cavs created quite a few ripples. Not only was the deal monumental for the Cavs simply because they retained LeBron, but the structure of the contract actually changed Dwyane Wade’s deal. After hearing the smaller nature of LeBron’s contract, Wade changed his tune with Miami and asked for a similar deal. How many players can say that about their contract?

MICHAEL STEPHENS: How about the deals not signed by high school prospects at this year’s draft! That will solve the NBA’s problems right there. Not. Another great trade of late involved bullets from Stephen Jackson’s gun in exchange for the Pacers guard being smashed by a moving car. Great for the league’s image makeover.

2. How does the NBA changing its official ball rank in terms of stupidity compared to last season’s dress code implementation, and how will the new rock affect the quality of play?

LEVI MATTHEWS: It’s even more biased against African-Americans.

MICHAEL STEPHENS: They changed the ball? Unless the circumference is now smaller, enabling members of the New York Knicks to actually coax it through the basket, I don’t see this making much of a difference.

Shaq: The New Ball SucksMICHAEL BRIAN: If Shaq doesn’t like it, I don’t like it. Unfortunately, the reverse is not true, which is why we have Kazaam, Steel and Scary Movie 3.

EVAN CHRISTOPHER: If Shaq doesn’t like it, I don’t like it. The Diesel knows all. Now at least he has an excuse for poor foul shooting.

LUCAS DWYER: The age old saying is “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Last I checked, the actual ball itself was one of the few items on planet NBA without controversy surrounding it. David Stern certainly couldn’t let something go unnoticed, so the NBA brass made the unilaterally ill-advised decision to change the ball. The only possible explanation is to market a cheaper ball to sell to fans. The NBA has had enough problems trying to squeeze every penny out of their product, alienating its fan base in the process.

3. Who is the favorite in a loaded Western Conference?

Eva Longoria & Tony ParkerMICHAEL STEPHENS: San Antonio. Reportedly freed from the shackles of Eva Longoria, Tony Parker (right) will raise his game and lead the Spurs to a fourth title in nine seasons. Oh, and Tim Duncan might be the only Hall of Fame lock who remains underrated.

LUCAS DWYER: With Amare Stoudamire back, it has to be the Suns. Add a player of Amare’s pedigree to a team that gave the Mavs more than they really wanted to handle and you’ve got a Western Conference winner.

MICHAEL BRIAN: This is the year T-Mac realizes he’s like the third best player in basketball and that Yao Ming realizes he’s 19 feet tall.

EVAN CHRISTOPHER: I have to still vote for Dallas. Dirk has a new contract and they tasted the Finals last year. The Mavs will be eager to finish the job this year and maybe we’ll get to see Mark Cuban being interviewed on his stairmaster again.

LEVI MATTHEWS: The Mavs.

4. Will the 2006-07 Knicks be the worst team in the history of pro sports?

LUCAS DWYER: It’s hard to imagine they’ll be the worst… team… ever… in professional sports. There have been a lot of bad seasons in the past 100 years. But they’re certainly the most illogical team. At least with most bad teams, there is a borderline logical explanation: the 2004 Tigers were young, the Royals never have money, the Hawks don’t have fans, etc. The Knicks? They have money, fans, talent, NYC, and are still awful. Beyond that, no one can rationalize any decision they make!

EVAN CHRISTOPHER: All signs point to yes, but I think any NBA team can pull at least 10 wins out of the hat. My memory escapes me but I’m sure there has been worse teams record wise but I’m sure the Knicks will provide ample humor for the upcoming season.

Isiah Thomas: Coach Extraordinaire

LEVI MATTHEWS: Yes, as the 1962 Mets roll in their graves.

MICHAEL BRIAN: What about that team that killed all those orphans? The Green Bay Packers, I believe they were called.

MICHAEL STEPHENS: Empirically, no. They’ll eek out an impressive 14-15 wins in spite of Isiah Thomas’ “coaching.” Based on their budget, market and talent, however, they may be the most underachieving team of all time.

5. Can the Miami Heat win a second consecutive championship?

MICHAEL BRIAN: Nothing’s stopping them, except perhaps other teams. Or fate. And, of course, geopolitical unrest.

LEVI MATTHEWS: I’d say it’s entirely physically possible, yes.

LUCAS DWYER:
Shaquille O’Neal’s career is eeirely similar to that of Pedro Martinez (except for three more titles than The Sports Truth’s diminutive friend — Nomar wasn’t quite Kobe). People claim Shaq was run out of L.A., but I think he realized his career would have more life in the NBA’s AAA — the Eastern Conference. Turns out he was right, but like the deteriorating Domincan, age is catching up with Shaq and his last title is behind him.

MICHAEL STEPHENS: I believe they can repeat as champs, but the odds will increase dramatically if Dallas again opposes them in the Finals. The NBA will do anything to keep Mark Cuban from hoisting the Larry O’Brien trophy, and that means approximately 75 free throws for Dwyane Wade per game.

EVAN CHRISTOPHER: Out of the East, of course they can. Will they? That’s a different story. Dwyane Wade is the future on the NBA, but the cast around him is getting older than the retirees on South Beach. If they can come together as a team and let Wade be the star, look out for the Heat in June.

One Response to “Starting Five: NBA Preseason Report”

  1. Aran Thangaratnam Says:

    Yep ic an see where ur coming from!

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