The Sports Truth

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Can anyone challenge the Pundit’s football acumen? The Pundit mocks anyone who thinks they can even attempt to hold his jock when it comes to college football.

Since the Pundit is affiliated with a technically deficient site (one probably run by chimps randomly punching keyboards) he will track his own record to make sure his legion of hungry fans can follow his omnipotence! 5-0 this week and 11-5 on the year! You have all been pimped again Pundit-style! Bow down, mere mortals!

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THE PUNDIT’S POWER FIVE

1. Ohio State. The Pundit took the Buckeyes by 21 over Penn State. Damn, the Pundit is good!
Next week’s opponent: Iowa
Prediction: This should be one of the early Big 10 grudge matches. A win for the Hawkeyes would get them into the top 10 nationally and give them some title hype. It’s a home game for Iowa but the Pundit is not convinced they’re strong enough to derail early Heisman front-runner Troy Smith (right) & Co. Buckeyes by 10.

2. Auburn. The Tigers got bored about one minute into their game against I-AA Buffalo and went through the motions to get the victory. It wasn’t a total romp because the third-stringers probably played the whole second half. Can you tell the Pundit didn’t watch this one?
Next week’s opponent: South Carolina
Prediction: This is a home game for the Gamecocks, but the Pundit is not sniffing an upset. Spurrier has made them respectable again but not against this defense. Auburn will win in entertaining but decisive fashion.

3. West Virginia. This should have been a blowout in the Pundit’s mind, but the Mountaineers struggled mightily in topping Maryland. The Mountaineers need all the big wins they can get because of a weaker schedule, so they lose some face with this one.
Next week’s opponent: Idle
Random Thought: This could be a sign of trouble for West Virginia. Most teams want their byes after a tough conference matchup, not after some patsy. Could this early bye end up hurting them? The Pundit is just throwing that thought out there…

4. USC. The Trojans looked flat in a victory over Arizona, as its offense lacked the normal sizzle. They can’t afford this type of performance against a real team. Sorry Tedy… not.
Next week’s opponent: Washington State
Prediction: Washington State is 3-1 and seems to have turned the corner after a long rebuilding process initiated by Bill Doba. However, they barely squeaked by Baylor and handily beat two weaker teams in Idaho and Stanford. The Pundit thinks the Cougars will give the Trojans a good game but look for a big day from Dwayne Jarrett and John David Booty. Trojans by 21 in a high-scoring shootout.

5. Michigan. The Pundit gives the Wolverines his final spot because they beat a tough conference foe in Wisconsin. The Badgers may be in a down cycle but they always have been (and always will be) better than Kentucky, Florida’s latest victim.
Next week’s opponent” Minnesota
Prediction: Michigan is in the second game of six-game stretch of Big 10 opponents, two of them who are ranked. This is a must-win game for the Wolverines in terms of maintaining momentum going into showdowns with #24 Penn State and #14 Iowa. Minnesota is not an elite team in the Big 10 but they won’t roll over either. This one goes to overtime and the Wolverines take it by a field goal.

Teams most likely to break into the Top Five: Florida (a win over ‘Bama will get them back on track), and Georgia (the ‘Dogs struggled on offense this weekend but should get an easy win over Ole Miss).

MOST RIDICULOUS STAT LINE OF THE WEEK, #1

Wake Forest is off to a blazing 4-0 start with its power rushing attack. In a win over Ole Miss, the Deacons ran the ball 53 out of 58 plays on offense. That’s more than a 9:1 run-pass breakdown. How many times does one see that in Division I?

MOST RIDICULOUS STAT LINE OF THE WEEK, #2

The Pundit is an avid fan of I-AA football and simply can’t pass this up. Jerome Felton, a 250-pound sledgehammer of a fullback for Southern Conference power Furman, ran for six touchdowns in a win over Western Carolina on Saturday night. Five of the TDs came in the first half! This guy also notched four scores in a loss to I-A UNC last week. Ten TDs in two games by one guy. Ridiculous!

EXCITING, DRAMATIC COMEBACK THE PUNDIT FOOLISHLY MISSED

Notre Dame over Michigan State. The Pundit admits to being upset with Irish and thought they looked cooked in this one. Then they turn around and score 19 in the fourth to pull out the victory. That’s a major d’oh, a la Homer Simpson, on the Pundit’s part! Even he occasionally changes channels prematurely.

GAMES OF THE WEEK

Ohio State-Iowa. This is a big time match up in the Big 10. If the Hawkeyes are legit (the Pundit isn’t so sure on this one) and knock off the Buckeyes, they can make the hunt for the second slot in the national title game a lot more interesting.

Oregon-Arizona State. If you follow Pac-10 football, this is the game for you. This game will show if the country if Oregon is really that good (The Pundit doesn’t think so) and will give the Sun Devils a chance to show that they truly are one of the top teams in the Pac 10. USC is still the show pony of this league but it could be a fun game to watch.

AND THE WHAT THE F*#@?!?! AWARD GOES TO…

… The Nike & Oregon Uniform Design Team! The Oregon Ducks should be renamed the Swooshes because of Phil Knight’s ridiculous contributions to the program. These generous contributions have allowed the Ducks to be on the forefront of game uniform design, whether it be tasteful or not, because they have what amounts to a blank check for their program.

Does everyone remember the neon green and yellow ensembles of years past? Did anyone think they could top that in outlandish-ness? Well if you said, “No, they can’t get any more ridiculous than that,” you were wrong.

Nike designers got input from the players this year on what they wanted their uniforms to look like. The “bad idea” alarms should have been going off on this one. The players came back with the idea of diamond plating the knees and shoulder pad area of the uniform.

Apparently, this is all the rage in the custom car market of which most of the Oregon team is enamored of. These uniforms call to mind the image of Xzibit showing up in the locker room at Oregon to pop each player’s collar and pronounce that they too have been pimped. The Pundit asks the Nike and Oregon design team “what the f*#@ were you thinking?!”

Posted in College Football