The Weigh-In: Dwyane Wade vs. Dwayne Wayne
September 30th, 2006 by Michael StephensThe Sports Truth is proud to bring you The Weigh-In, in which we break down prospective matchups within the world of sports (and sometimes pop culture) that you may never have considered. Because they are pointless, and above all, not real.
Our latest edition is a showdown of stars past and present. One stars in the NBA. The other used to star on NBC. Who will emerge victorious when Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade squares off against Dwayne Wayne from the classic ’80s sitcom A Different World? Let’s take a look:
1. EDUCATION
Dwyane Wade: Attended Marquette, but sat out one season due to academic problems, then bolted early for the NBA Draft
Dwayne Wayne: Received undergraduate and graduate degrees from Hillman College, went on to become Professor of Mathematics at the school
Edge: D-Wayne
2. NICKNAMES
Dwyane Wade: Flash, D-Wade
Dwayne Wayne: Um, Kadeem Hardison?
Edge: D-Wade
3. SIGNATURE LOOK
Dwyane Wade: Calm expression, custom converse sneaks named simply “The Wade”
Dwayne Wayne: Flip-up sunglasses, flat top ‘fro
Edge: D-Wayne
4. CAREER ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Dwyane Wade: Led Marquette to Final Four, won NBA title and MVP honors with Miami Heat, all by age 24
Dwayne Wayne: Undetermined
Edge: D-Wade
5. DUBIOUS DISTINCTIONS
Dwyane Wade: In 2006, voted NBA’s Most Humble Player
Dwayne Wayne: In college, voted Most Likely to Be Stood Up
Edge: Even
6. UNFINISHED BUSINESS
Dwyane Wade: Failed to win Gold at Olympics, World Championships
Dwayne Wayne: Only got one date with Denise Huxtable
Edge: D-Wayne
7. STREET CRED
Dwyane Wade: Guy can ball, sure, but he’s far too reserved and nice for thugs outside Miami-Dade County to rock his #3 (which he chose because it represents the Holy Trinity) en masse
Dwayne Wayne: Was surprisingly cool in his heyday (1987-1993)
Edge: Even
8. CHARITABLE CONTRIBUTIONS
Dwyane Wade: Tithes 10 percent of his earnings to a church in Chicago
Dwayne Wayne: Was always a great friend, husband and mentor
Edge: D-Wade
9. MEMORABLE QUOTES
Dwyane Wade: [on Pat Riley's mentoring] “Coach put a challenge out there to be more active on defense, to be more aware. I know I’m a good defender, but at times, I take a rest. He challenged me not to take a rest.”
Dwayne Wayne: [on why women have it easy] “A butt pinch hurts a lot less then a bullet wound.”
Edge: D-Wayne
10. INFLUENCES
Dwyane Wade: His wife, Siohvaughn Funches; His daughter, Zaire Blessing; The literary classic, Pride and Prejudice. All of which, he says, helped him overcome obstacles, get out of his own way, appreciate life, and let love rule.
Dwayne Wayne: Col. Taylor, Whitley Gilbert, the cultural impact of the 1992 L.A. riots
Edge: D-Wade
THE VERDICT: For the first time in Weigh-In history… a tie! The action never waned (sorry) as D & D fought to an intense 5-5 draw. Alas, neither competitor joins Charles Barkley and Lawrence Taylor in the elite group of Weigh-In winners. But congrats to both of you guys on a great effort.
October 27th, 2006 at 1:15 pm
It aint no competition Dwayne Wade is simply the best and the sexiest and aint nobody can touch him.
November 1st, 2006 at 12:35 pm
I Agree with her d-wade is simply the sexiest man alive and got gam come on now no competition here I LOVE YOU D_wade
November 20th, 2006 at 7:09 pm
Your wife is beautiful and you guys make a perfect couple. The only thing that matters to me is that you are happy. As i can see you are. You are in my prayers. I wish you luck. Love ya
January 17th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
Dwyane Wade!is sexy,amazing and the best bball playa ever!hes awesoem!he is my hero!
February 18th, 2007 at 10:30 am
D-Wade is bringing SEXYBACK!!!!!!!!!! ooooowwww! HOTNESS sorry D-Wayne, D-Wade can’t be touched
February 18th, 2007 at 10:31 am
D-Wade is bringing SEXYBACK!!!!!!!!!! ooooowwww! HOTNESS! sorry D-Wayne, D-Wade can’t be touched
February 22nd, 2007 at 9:13 am
Dwyane Wade is my main man. I got his picture as my screensaver and everythang else. Just keep doing what you do best baby and your wife is beautiful and you are sexy.
March 21st, 2007 at 3:48 pm
Dwyane Wade is one of the most sexyest basketball players around…..D-Wade is not bringing sexyback he done brought SEXY Back….I LOVE U D-WADE…..
March 21st, 2007 at 3:50 pm
I LOVEEEEEEEE U SO MUCH DWYANE TYRONE WADE JR. AND I ALWAYS WILL…..I HAVE UR PICTURES ALL OVER MY WALL….
March 27th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
i heart d wade he is the best basketball player!!!!!! and o so cute !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 29th, 2007 at 9:36 am
he is the hottest guy alive his wife and kids are cute. (soz to them but I WANT HIM!!!)
April 6th, 2007 at 11:51 am
hi he is awsome he a great basketball player he is won of my favorites
April 25th, 2007 at 4:29 pm
when i think about the Miami Heat the first name that come to my mind is Dwyane Wade.He is just so hot, he put the heat in miami.I love him so much,he’s just such a good basketball player. He’s HOT
SEXY
SMART
AND ONLY THE BEST PLAYER IN THe NBA.
April 25th, 2007 at 9:59 pm
It’s son Zaire not Daughter!
idiot!!
do your research!
July 11th, 2007 at 10:29 am
I believe that D-Wade is exactly what represents a true man which is something very rare in the african american community in this day and time. Continue to put God first and nothing but blessings shall surely follow. May God continue to bless you and your family!!!
July 23rd, 2007 at 8:55 pm
Dwayn3 Wad3 is the S3XI3ST BASK3TBALL PLAY3R ON TH3 FAC3 OF PLAN3T 3ARTH. HE IS A TRUE ROLL MODEL AND SETS A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR YOUNGER KIDS IN OUR TODAY SOCIETY. KEEP DOING UR THING WAD3. U STILL AND WILL ALWAYS B3 MY FOVORIT3 BASK3TBALL PLAY3L. S3XY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 28th, 2007 at 8:16 am
Wow, that was cute. I don’t know much about D-Wade, but he seems impressive. The comparison to D-Wayne was creative. Nice.
July 30th, 2007 at 10:24 pm
Dwayne Wade is my man and i love him so much he is my favorite B-Ball player, and he is the sexiest man dat play B-Ball,so all u other females leave him ALONE.
October 3rd, 2007 at 1:20 pm
wade is the all time best
December 3rd, 2007 at 11:57 am
D wade everybody in my class say you a** and you need to do a early retirement. but i told them to shut the f*** up and start admiring you because you are the best to me and when you play the caveliers you try your best to dunk about 5 times or more
-ps i am a boy& in 9th grade-
hunter huss huskies you know-
July 7th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Dwyane is a hero in my book vintagesportscardmemorabilia.com