The Sports Truth

No pulsating intro music or pyrotechnics are necessary when the Sports Truth’s Starting Five takes the floor. Primarily because our budget won’t allot for such things. That would be so cool, though!

Every Friday, our panel of experts takes a current sports topic and sounds off on it — five times over. These guys have been researching constantly, poring over endless data and bouncing ideas off each other in preparation for this feature. Prepare to be amused, perplexed, enraged and maybe a little awed by their collective brilliance.

This Week’s Topic: BASEBALL PLAYOFF RACES

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1. Who will win the World Series?

EVAN CHRISTOPHER: The New York Mets in a subway series. Boo yea.

LEVI MATTHEWS: The New York Yankees. But the Mets may score a couple runs in one of the games.

JOEY BARGUY: The New York Yankees. The hot second half team (besides the White Sox last year) always wins the world series — especially when its the Yankees. And come on, they have their swagger back. Alex “Brosius” Rodriguez is getting hot at the right time, and Rivera will be nice and rested. Most importantly, every other team seems to be suddenly terrible.

LUCAS DWYER: Three teams have a chance to win: Yankees, Twins, and Tigers. The Yankees certainly look the best right now, but I feel like their pitching will catch up with them in a 5 or 7 game series vs. a good squad. The Tigers should be the team to beat, but I think their young pitching will catch up with them as well. Provided Liriano is effective when he comes off the DL, I like he and Santana to propel the Twins to a World Series title.

MICHAEL STEPHENS: The no-name Oakland Athletics will play boring but smart, defensively-brilliant baseball and stun even Billy Beane by winning it all.

2. Was the Yankees trade for Bobby Abreu (pictured) the most influential move of the 21st century?

LEVI MATTHEWS: It ranks right up there with the Dr. Webber raising the stakes for future Chief of Staff at Seattle Grace by hiring Derek Shepherd on Grey’s Anatomy. Or George Bush being re-elected. But neither the president or any surgeon, no matter how precise, can compete with the OBP of Abreu.

JOEY BARGUY: Abreu takes approximately 37 pitches per at-bat. While it’s hard to project the future of 21st century “moves,” the only possibility would be if the Yankees trade Abreu to some other team.

MICHAEL STEPHENS: The most influential move of this young century has to be Osama bin Laden successfully fleeing Tora Bora during the invasion of Afghanistan in 2001. Slipping through the grasp of U.S. forces as warplanes pounded the mountainous region near the Pakistan border, bin Laden lived to instill paranoia another day. With the Al Qaeda mastermind still at large, the brainless, unilateralist U.S. Head of State felt justified in plunging the U.S. into an unwinnable war in Iraq, at a cost of untold human lives and billions of dollars. What an a$$hole.

LUCAS DWYER: If the Yankees go on to win the World Series, that will be hard to argue with, but I think the Nomar Garciaparra trade in 2004 and the David Justice trade in 2000 are the #1 and #2 deadline trades of the 21st century right now. Certainly Abreu has played the best of any players involved in those deals, but deadline deals are about winning championships.

EVAN CHRISTOPHER: Obviously. Look at the numbers. Nine games up? Just give Brian Cashman a medal already.

3. Will Ryan Howard hit 61 home runs?

MICHAEL STEPHENS: Does Ryan Howard play in the National League? If so, does it even count?

LUCAS DWYER: Howard needs one home run every three games to get to 61. I don’t see it happening. As the Phils fall out of the race at the end of September, I believe Howard will slow down as well.

EVAN CHRISTOPHER: Probably. But who really cares? Wake me if he cranks 75, all to the opposite field.

LEVI MATTHEWS: Nope, 59. Just a few homers short of the number of men Paris Hilton took home last night.

JOEY BARGUY: No, he’ll be too busy being tested between innings. Plus, he’s on the Phillies.

4. The next Red Sox player traded will: throw a perfect game? Break Joe DiMaggio’s hitting steak? Hit .400 for a season?

JOEY BARGUY: Since it’ll probably be Josh Beckett, I’d say all of the above.

LUCAS DWYER: It seems only fitting that the next prospect the Red Sox trade will hit .400. With Red Sox Ted Williams the last guy to hit .400, it would be a double kick in the balls for a Red Sox tradee to take that crown away from the Red Sox.

EVAN CHRISTOPHER: David Wells will throw a no-hitter against the Diamondbacks, Kevin Millar will bat .407 and Bronson Arroyo will win a Grammy.

LEVI MATTHEWS: I assume Manny Ramirez will be traded this off-season. That’s always the case, right? So the next Boston player to leave will at least end a Hall of Fame career in a different uniform.

MICHAEL STEPHENS: It would not be unfunny if Kevin Millar, who holds the minor league record for most consecutive games reaching base safely, went on to bust that mark in the bigs, too.

5. Could the Little League World Series champion defeat the National League Wild Card winner?

LEVI MATTHEWS: Not unless the club picks up the option on Danny Almonte.

LUCAS DWYER: Depends on what kind of format we’re talking about. Seven game series? If the little league team has home field advantage and gets the four games at home, I can see them taking advantage of the closer pitching mound, shorter basepaths, etc. It’d be tough for a little league team to win a game in Shea. That place is so cavernous!

MICHAEL STEPHENS: It could be a closer matchup than you think. The NL team probably has to deal with the random testing for steroids at some point. But the Little Leaguers? They’re free to use all the flaxseed oil they want!

JOEY BARGUY: No. You’re mean.

EVAN CHRISTOPHER: While I love Little League and have some of the best sports memories of my life rooted during my playing days, I really hate the Columbus, Ga., team that won the championship this year. Their coach was a dick, the kids could barely talk when being interviewed and they pouted like bitches after they lost one game in the round robin to Illinois. And don’t get me started on team stud Kyle Carter who had something like 53 home runs in the regular season yet complained when he was intentionally walked. First, it’s Little League. Pitch to the kid. Second, be honored that they treated you like Barry Bonds and not Albert Pujols. Anyways, yes, the Florida Marlins could beat them.

Posted in Baseball, Starting Five