The Sports Truth

Manny Ramirez and I both relocated to Boston in 2001, following transitional phases in Cleveland and Upstate New York, respectively. While the Red Sox outfielder makes roughly $19,965,000 more each year than I do, I may care more about whether or not Boston wins, so we’ll call it a wash.

In short, the Manny Ramirez era has been awe-inspiring, often infuriating, and always entertaining. He makes us laugh on a daily basis (at him as well as with him), he helped make us champions, and he’s made us cry more than a few times.

With #24 under contract for two more years (more than that if the Red Sox were to pick up a few option years — about as likely as Matt Clement picking up a win), but destined to wind up on the trading block again this off-season, I can’t help but look back on a six-year span that may, in many dubious and statistical ways, never be equaled.

Here’s a brief Manny retrospective, 2001-present, as seen through one Boston fan’s eyes:

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April 13, 2001 – In his first month with Boston, fresh off signing that eight-year, $160-million deal, Manny rips a base hit up the middle in 10th inning against the Yankees, giving the Sox a 3-2 win. Jubilant Sox fans overreact; my best friend, a devout Yankee fan, merely laughs.

December 10, 2001 — Ramírez claims he is uncomfortable in his first season with Boston, prompting the team’s new ownership to create a separate interview room, to “ease his transition” with the Sox. Having not received any separate interview rooms or other transition-easing tools during my last career change, this writer feels slighted.

May 18, 2002 — During a rehab start with AAA Pawtucket, Ramirez manages to lose his diamond earring sliding into third base. A baker’s dozen PawSox players on the hands and knees, along with the Syracuse, N.Y., grounds crew, were unable to recover it despite combing the third base area after the game. The diamond was worth $15,000, roughly an hour’s salary.

September 2, 2002 — Manny requests song “Good Times” by Styles P, which contains obscene lyrics and references to marijuana, to be played as his “intro music” over the Fenway Park PA. That same week, Manny hits a soft ground ball in a game against Tampa Bay, then turns around and walks back to the dugout without running to first base.

September 29, 2002 — On the last day of the regular season, Ramirez pinch hits at Fenway to a standing ovation for winning the AL batting title. My Yankee-loving friend, unimpressed with the aloof oddball (despite his .349 average), stands up and yells “$20 million dollars!” Manny walks on four pitches, is replaced by Rickey Henderson, and saunters back to the dugout.

August 30, 2003 – In the heat of the AL Wild Card race, Ramírez is seen at a bar with his friend, and, at that time Yankees infielder, Enrique Wilson. This in spite of the fact that he asked to be pulled from the Sox lineup because of a sore throat that week. Ramírez missed his doctors’ appointment at Fenway Park the next morning.

October 6, 2003 — Manny’s sixth-inning, three-run shot off Barry Zito gives Boston a 4-1 lead in Game Five of the ALDS against Oakland. His saunter to first base enrages A’s shortstop Miguel Tejada. Boston holds on to win, 4-3, after a stomach-churning, ninth-inning near-collapse. Often overlooked, but easily one of the most exciting wins in Red Sox history.

May 11, 2004 — Waving a miniature U.S. flag as runs out to his position in left field, Ramirez (left) celebrates his newfound U.S. citizenship, which he was granted at a naturalization ceremony in Miami the day before. Displaying the exuberance he would carry throughout the 2004 season after nearly being traded for Alex Rodriguez the previous winter, a happy Manny made that a day to remember for all in attendance.

October 27, 2004 (above, right) — Capping off an incredible year, in which he led the American League in home runs (43), slugging percentage (.613) and OPS (1.009) while hitting .308, Ramirez is named World Series MVP as the Red Sox sweep St. Louis for their first title in 86 grueling seasons. Despite two ghastly errors in the series opener, Manny helps carry the team to a four-game annihilation of the Cards, hitting 7-17 with a home run, four RBIs and three walks.

Undetermined Period, 2004-2005: Given the affable Dominican’s increasingly strange behavior, “Manny Being Manny” enters New England lexicon. Not sure who coined this, but it’s up there with Hahvard Yahd these days.

Undetermined Period, 2004-2005: With Saddam Hussein on trial for war crimes, and crazily pointing at every prosecutor and witness in sight, someone photoshops the former Iraqi dictator and the smiling Red Sox slugger pointing at one another. It’s not unfunny.

July 14, 2005 — The first batter in the first game of a key series at Fenway, Derek Jeter, hits a flare to shallow left. Ramirez attempts to slide, unnecessarily, and make a diving grab. He awkwardly misses by two feet, but nonchalantly jogs back to retrieve the ball and throw out Jeter, who tried to stretch his “double” into a triple. As the boos bizarrely turn to cheers in a span of seconds, Ramirez flashes a smile and gives the fans in left some trademark finger pointing.

July 18, 2005 – Ramirez leaves the field to go inside the Green Monster for a bathroom break while Red Sox pitching coach Dave Wallace visited the mound. Ramirez barely makes it out in time for Wade Miller’s next pitch.

July 31, 2005 – Having been pulled from the lineup for two games, because as manager Terry Francona puts it, he “needed to clear his head,” Manny enters the game versus the Minnesota Twins as a pinch-hitter in the bottom of the eighth inning. Receiving a standing ovation less than an hour after the trade deadline passed, Manny chops an RBI single up the middle for the game-winning hit. “Forget about the trade man. This is the place I want to be man. It’s great man,” he said afterward. “They love me here man. This is the place to be. ‘Manny Being Manny,’ it’s great man.”

October 1, 2005 (right) – After blasting a mammoth home run over the Monster seats in left against rival New York, Ramirez points skyward in celebration. It was the first inning. The Yankees would go on to soundly defeat Boston that afternoon and claim their 340th consecutive AL East crown.

Spring 2006 — After reportedly demanding a trade, Ramirez agrees to sell many items from his home to a collector. When the memorabilia dealer shows up at Manny’s downtown Boston penthouse, naturally, Manny informs him that he’s “not going anywhere.”

August 18-21, 2006 — Even as the rest of the team implodes in a five-game sweep, Ramirez goes 8-11 with two homers, seven RBIs and nine walks vs. the Yankees. For those of you scoring at home, that’s an on-base percentage of .850. Even the superb leadoff hitter on my slow-pitch softball team, who I think has gotten out about six times all year, can’t touch that.

August 24, 2006 — Pluto is stripped of its planetary status and replaced in the solar system by the faraway destination of Planet Manny. Okay, so I made this one up. It might as well be true.

Posted in Baseball, Manny Ramirez